Theta Nu Epsilon Society - Articles

The Theta Nu Epsilon Society.

The Chapter Meeting,

Stuart Palmer, College Humor, January 1929.

There is no good reason for us to present this piece here at all. Except that it is fairly amusing, it is probably realistic, it does give an insight into the proper functioning of a chapter in the 1920’s and probably decades before and since, and Theta Nu Epsilon chapters probably did function like this, and, this clipping was found in the archives of the society, in the Henry Kelly papers, which attests to its Theta Nu Epsilon relevance.

Sometime between nine and ten in the evening a baker’s dozen of the lads is assembled. Some are brought by main force. Three of them wear the black robes, the others pleading various excuses. During the reading of the minutes four brothers light cigarettes, and the others borrow from them if possible. No one listens to the minutes, which is just as well, as the Honorable Scribe has opened to the wrong page and is three weeks behind. The Grand Ecart, usually known as Bud, comes in twenty minutes late, amid mingled cheers and hisses. He takes his seat and raps for order.

It is moved that a pin be stuck on young Hoople, because “he’s an awful ass, but they say he has a sister who is an Alpha Flea, and we need a new davenport.” It is decided that someone see to dating his sister, to find out if it is worth it. Wink, Bong and Smith are black-balled because the rumor goes around that they spend their evenings studying in the libe.

It is decided to pledge young Green if he will bite, because he has a roadster. It is decided to pledge Hinkle because his father is to be appointed a member of the Board of Regents. It is suggested that the chapter ought to make a rule about bringing telephone operators to dances at the house. Two brothers who are at present engaged to telephone operators threaten to walk out and the subject is dropped.

The treasurer rises and makes a ten minute plea for payment of house bills, during which three brothers and the Grand Ecart himself slip out of the door to their dates. Brother Muckle begins the story about the traveler in Spain who came to an inn. Brother Muckle is suppressed with jeers, as all the brothers but one have heard it. Brother Muckle makes vain attempts to borrow a cigarette. Two brothers in the corner are matching pennies. This is over only when all of the pennies have changed hands at least three times.

A letter from the national chapter is discussed. It states that the house will either pay its national dues for the past two years, or go back to being a local. It is decided to stall them off until the new davenport is bought.

It is decided that the rule against bringing liquor into the house does not apply to liquor in bottles, but only in kegs or barrels.

Brothers Moon and Glutz come to blows over the fact that the former sat out three dances with the latter’s girl at the last tea dance. The brothers are separated with difficulty, and amid the disappointed jeers of the sporting element. They glare at each other.

Brother Milch, representing the “Purity Squad,” denounces those who sit in cars while parties are going on. Brother Milch is booed. Various derogatory remarks are made concerning his lack of “it.”

Brother Grootz announces that the meals are terrible and that he intends to eat out next semester. The steward rises to say that if the brothers would pay their house bills they could eat meat every day. Brother Grootz retorts with an insinuation pointing at the steward’s new suit as an evidence of misappropriation.

It is decided to pledge every man in sight as soon as possible and buy a new davenport. Three more brothers slip out through the door and the five or six who are left get a deck of cards and play black jack until four A. M.